Welcome to Fortify. We’re glad you found us.
Although we can’t know your exact experiences, feelings, and thoughts, we’ve spent a lot of time with others who have faced this same kind of struggle. If you’re anything like them, you might have worries about what happened in the past: I can’t believe it. How did I get here?
You may also have fears about the future: What if I can’t beat this thing? I’m not sure anything is really going to change. And then you have this moment—a new start…a fresh beginning. No matter what happened yesterday, this month, or last year, guess what?
Right now, you’re here with us. That says something about you. And if we have anything to say about it, it will also mean something about your future.
Taking Control Of Your Future
But for now, let’s not fast-forward too far into tomorrow. Let’s stick with right now. And for today, just the fact that you’re here is worth celebrating. Think about it: with everything else going on in your life and what you could be doing right now, you decided to check out Fortify. That’s no small thing. We actually think it’s a big deal.
You see, you’ve decided to do something many people simply aren’t brave enough to do: recognize that there is a problem, and do something about it. Seriously, well done!
But you didn’t come here to get a pat on the back or a pep talk. You showed up because your life has been entangled and hijacked by something you can’t control very well— if at all.
How We Can Help
Whether you’ve got an occasional pornography habit or a full-on addiction, you’re here because you’re tired of feeling stuck— and you’re ready for something different, something more true to who you really are and what you want out of life.
That’s why we’re here too. We also believe you deserve better, and we’re going to give you everything we’ve got to help you find that.
Up ahead, we’ll have a lot to talk about. But for now, just remember this: no matter how long you’ve struggled, no matter how desperate or stuck you may feel right now, this is a new day. We’re not being cheesy here – it’s actually true.
No other moment that came before is exactly like this one…So let’s do this!
No matter where you are, it’s the perfect place to begin.
Personalized Strategies For Unique People
Everyone’s situation is different. For some people facing this struggle, they have gone back to using pornography over and over again. After a while, it’s normal to start wondering if this is just who you are. Similar thoughts come up for other problems: Maybe I’m just a drunk? or Doesn’t this drug help me be who I really am? And with porn, some people end up saying, “Well all guys are into that,” or “This is just who I am.”
So is that true? Some people hope it’s true and really try to believe it. But…you know better…
After using porn again one night, a friend told us that he turned his off computer to try and sleep. Sensing again the numbness and heaviness that always came after using, he stopped, sat down on the floor and said: “This is not who I really am!…This is not the person I want to be…This is not me!” It’s much easier, as we mentioned earlier, to say the opposite: looking around at whatever is going on in our lives and just say, “Oh well, this must be who I am.”
Well, we’re here to tell you something different— to make sure that you are aware of the big difference between who you are and where you are.
This Addiction Does Not Define You
Yes, it’s true—you are here. You’ve been doing this stuff for a certain amount of time. That is where you are. But that doesn’t mean this is who you are. In fact, this pornography habit may completely contradict who you really are!
Have you ever had a moment like the friend we just mentioned— a moment when you sensed, even just a little, that you are better than this?…that this stuff goes against who you are really are? That realization alone can bring a lot of relief— “Hey, this is totally not me!” It may be a process to learn how to live out that better, truer self, but at least you know it’s there!
Now please don’t misunderstand; we’re not saying that being drawn to sex or sexual experience is abnormal or unhealthy. Obviously, that’s not true. It’s when we take those wonderful and natural expressions and direct them at pixilated, airbrushed images –in a way that bonds us to people we’ll never meet (or who, in many cases, don’t even exist)…THAT’S the kind of thing we’re calling a problem.
In other words, you’re not weird or perverted to be interested in sex— it is totally natural for all of us and nothing to be ashamed of.
For those who have turned to pornography over and over, it might also be easy to start beating on yourself for “being stupid” or “worthless.” Maybe you even believe that starting Fortify means that you’re somehow a weak person.
We disagree— big time.
You Can Start Over, And We Can Help
Whatever personal worries you may be carrying around, however mixed up you may feel, this is one thing we want to make super clear: you are not the primary cause of this struggle.
When we obsess about internal things, we miss one pretty big part of the picture. It’s called the world and you happen to be living in it!
Seriously though, it’s important not to forget that we’re living in a sexualized society that sets people up for this kind of a struggle. If that’s true, then maybe we should stop hammering ourselves for being weak and pathetic, and instead, start checking into the many scientific explanations for how this world can mess with us– and even begin to impact the brain.
That’s why, in the end, our purpose isn’t to “fix” some broken-down mess-of-a-person. Instead, our purpose is to join forces with another brave Fighter in this exciting journey of waking up again to the person you already are, even if you may have forgotten that for a while!